Monthly Archives: June 2015

Here ye! Here ye!

If you know this guy, tell him Travish wants to know if he is French
If you know this guy, tell him Travish wants to know if he is French

Travish: Here ye! Here ye!

[Old Timey Language Liberrian 20:30:51]: Librarian ‘(Censored)’ has joined the session.

[OTLL 20:30:58]: Hi, I’m (Censored), a OTLL helping to answer questions for your library. How can I help you?

[OTLL 20:31:30]: did you have a question?

[Travish 20:31:43]: i hear that alot but i dont know what it means?

[OTLL 20:32:02]: ok, let me find some information about that saying for you

[Travish 20:32:17]: Thanks!

[OTLL 20:35:01]:

[Travish 20:36:18]: so it means listen to me? that would explain why mr matthews says it

[OTLL 20:36:40]: it is used now at the beginning of court procedures, or in French Oyez, Oyez

[OTLL 20:37:33]: but in medieval times it would have been the first thing a town crier said before reading a document announcing something for the King

[OTLL 20:37:38]: does that help?

[Travish 20:37:58]: so the french version of mr matthews says oyez oyez?

[OTLL 20:38:07]: O dpm

[Travish 20:38:14]: oh i did NOT see your last part!

[OTLL 20:38:20]: sorry, I’m not familiar with Mr. Matthews

[Travish 20:38:38]: so if mr matthews is making an announcement for the principal then it would make perfect sense!

[Travish 20:38:47]: mr matthews is my teacher and a idiot

[Travish 20:39:44]: my name is Travish THANKS for your help!

[OTLL 20:40:06]: yes,

[OTLL 20:40:16]: it just means, please pay attention

[OTLL 20:40:48]:

[OTLL 20:41:05]: you’re welcome, Travish

[Travish 20:41:17]: well i have problems doing that, ESPECIALLY when he is talking about the war of 1912

[OTLL 20:41:18]: can I help you with anything else?

[Travish 20:41:48]: no, thats it! THANKS!!

[OTLL 20:42:13]: you’re welcome.  thanks for using (Censored)

Travish’s Commentary:

Here ye!  Here ye! Mr. Matthews is annoying and stupid!!


New Posts

I’m going to start writing more posts here about my life. My name is Travish.  In case you noticed, this is why you’ve noticed more posts on my blog.

Mr. Matthews Thinks He Can do Whatever he Wnats (OH NO).

Okay so let me get something off my chest.  Second of all, my name is Travish, and I’ll tell you what: it is a crying shame if you think I’m going to just sit here and not get accepted into Mr. Matthews AP (ADVANCED PLACEMENT) Language Arts class.  Oh no.

It starts like this: You have to decide if you want AP Language Arts, or the regular one.  I might as well tell you Kristen takes AP, so of course that’s what I wanted.

Okay, I’m really tired of typing right now so I am going to take a break and I will write the rest of this blog later.

The Curious Case of Mr. Matthews

If life wasn’t so hard, it would be a lot easier.  Think about that.  What did you think?

Sometimes, life is hard because others around us make it hard.  I’ll give an example of one such person.  This person’s name: Mr. Matthews.

Mr. Matthews is a teacher.  Do you think a person can be defined by their job profession?  I say: absolutely no.  Imagine a teacher.  What did you imagine?  I bet you didn’t imagine a teacher rummaging around his wardrobe looking for his softball bandanas, did you?  Well, that’s exactly the sort of teacher Mr. Matthews is.  He has a drawer dedicated exclusively to softball accessories.  He calls it his “softball drawer.”  The contents of this drawer are face paint, and colorful bandanas that Mr. Matthews ties to his sweatpants.  He says it makes him look like the Rock N’ Roll Express.  That is a famous professional wrestling tag team from the 1980’s, in case you didn’t already know.  I’ve never actually seen him wear the facepaint.

The Rock & Roll Express - note the bandanas
The Rock & Roll Express – note the bandanas

Mr. Matthews always says in class, “Punctuality is principal.”  It is supposed to be a play on the word principle, but I just don’t get it.  There are a rather lot of things I don’t get when it comes to this man.

The chief amongst these quizzical traits is Mr. Matthews claim that he once did over three thousand pushups more than anyone else at a strong man competition.  Well, I might as well tell you I thought this number seemed high, so I asked him to do a demonstration.  Mr. Matthews face turned BRIGHT red (I’ll get to that in a minute), and then he squatted down and tried to do a push up.  He sort of collapsed on the ground and didn’t get back up.  I think he made a fart sound too, which made the class laugh really hard.

This is the only pushup contest Mr. Matthews could win
This is the only pushup contest Mr. Matthews could win

So, the reason his face turned red was because I challenged him to do pushups while Kristen’s mom was in the classroom to drop off Kristen’s bookbag (she left it in her car).  EVERYBODY knows Mr. Matthews is in love with Kristen’s mom.  So I took the opportunity to ask him to do the pushups.

Have you ever been to a softball game where the team manager wore facepaint?  If so, please leave a comment below.  Thank you.  My name is Travish.