Monthly Archives: June 2016

The History of the Midnight Express

Loverboy Dennis, Jim Cornette, and Beautiful Bobby at a library
Loverboy Dennis, Jim Cornette, and Beautiful Bobby – The Midnight Express.  Pictured here at the library

Listen to this song while reading:

Hello this is Travish.  This is my paper on the history of the Midnight Express.  Who are the Midnight Express?  I haven’t gotten to that point yet.  When I get to that point, you will know.

Ok the Midnight Express were a tag team from the 80’s.  Some say they were the greatest tag team of all time.  I say it’s either them or the Rock ‘n Roll Express.  Tony Schiavone said the Andersons.  WWE would probably say something stupid like Sahwn Michaels and HHH.  Vince McMahon, if you are reading this, you are a COMPLETE IDIOT.  Also, tell Stephanie I hate her and she is stupid.

I did research for this paper.  I asked a librarian about the Midnight Express.  The librarian gave me a ECNYCLOPEDIA link.  Not Wikipedia.  Encyclopedia. Continue reading The History of the Midnight Express

X-Men Movies – A Literary Criticism

Here is a naked picture of Jennifer Lawrence
Here is a naked picture of Jennifer Lawrence

This is Travish’s literary criticism paper for Mr. Matthews’ class.  I am Travish so don’t even think I copied it from someone else named Travish.  If I did that, I would sight Different Travish as a source.

Your literary criticism paper is to be no less than four (4) and no more than six (6) pages typed in Times New Roman 12 point font.  In this paper you are to carefully examine and evaluate a work of literature, making an analytical argument about your chosen topic.  Make sure that you critically engage the subject and address one or more of the core issues we have discussed in class.  Use of secondary sources is highly encouraged.

I didn’t write that part.  Those are the instructions for the paper (Mr. Matthews’ Instructions 1).  So Mr. Matthews wants me to criticize a work of literature.  I am doing that now.  Right now.  There is no tomorrow (Apollo Creed 1).  (Also Van Halen For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge 1).

Second of all this paper is about the X-Men movies.  That is the topic I pick for literary criticism.  Am I going to criticize the X-Men for Mr. Matthews’ class?  Nuh uh!  I don’t care what your instructions say Matthews, I like these movies so I won’t trash talk them.  I will trash talk you though.  You are stupid.  You don’t even know something.  And you lost bet with the janitor about the NCAA Tournament.

Literary criticism definition. Continue reading X-Men Movies – A Literary Criticism

The Autobiography of Travish

This is my autobiography assignment for Mr. Matthews’ class.  If you have any questions about me after you read this, then READ IT AGAIN YOU IDIOT.

Listen hear you idiots, my name is Travish and I am going to tell you something you did not know.  How did I know you did not know it? Probably because you are just dumb.  Dumb like a jerk.

This story is my autobiography and it is for an assignment.  Mr. Matthews said he is grading it for effort, not for content.  Mr. Matthews, that’s so stupid I don’t know where to begin.  I guess I’l just go from the beginning to point number two (2).  Second of all why would you not grade the content?  The best part about this is if you don’t grade for content then you can’t deduct points for all the times I will call you a numpty.  Where did I learn the word numpty?  I will tell you in this autobiography.  This paper will be full of stuff you don’t know.  You don’t know anything so maybe you shouldn’t even be a teacher?  Maybe you shouldn’t even be a teacher’s assistant?  Maybe you shouldn’t even be an assistant coach for the basketball team?  Maybe you should just stop what your doing because i’m about to ruin.

Thank about that. Continue reading The Autobiography of Travish

My Personal Reflection on National Doughnut Day

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This is my personal reflection paper for Mr. Matthews’ class.  Did I go to his class today? NUH UH!  I went to get a free doughnut.  And to the game room.  But I did this paper so Mr. Matthews can grade it and not give me a F in his class.

Today is a historic day.  What is today?  Today is a day that will live in infamy.  Today is National Doughnut Day.

What is National Doughnut Day?  It’s the one day of the year when you can get a free doughnut!  Not just any old doughnut, but one from KRISPY KREME.  You could probably get a free one from Dunking Donuts or Sheetz or somewhere else, but I wouldn’t do that.  Would you do that?  I wouldn’t do that unless there isn’t a Krispy Kreme within a 100 miles.  Then you could do that.

One time a libarian got mad at me because I asked which came first, National Doughnut Day or National D-Day.  Well I thought he got mad but then I looked it up and he didn’t seem mad like I remembered.  He did think I should think about National D-Day more and National Doughnut Day less.  Idiot.

Also he said National Doughnut Day came before National D-Day.  I learned that today but I forgot I already knew it.  If you learn something and then realize that you already knew it but you had forgotten it does that mean that you have learned something new?  In this situation I learned something, and I learned that I had already learned it, so I learned two things.  That should be extra credit, Matthews.

In conclusion, second of all it is National Doughnut Day and I’m wasting my time writing this when I should be getting free doughnuts.  That’s right, doughnuts, not just one doughnut.  I am going to go back in a disguise.  I have a Batman mask and those Krispy Kreme people will probably think Adam West is there BUT NO!  It will be Travish.