X-Men Movies – A Literary Criticism

Here is a naked picture of Jennifer Lawrence
Here is a naked picture of Jennifer Lawrence

This is Travish’s literary criticism paper for Mr. Matthews’ class.  I am Travish so don’t even think I copied it from someone else named Travish.  If I did that, I would sight Different Travish as a source.

Your literary criticism paper is to be no less than four (4) and no more than six (6) pages typed in Times New Roman 12 point font.  In this paper you are to carefully examine and evaluate a work of literature, making an analytical argument about your chosen topic.  Make sure that you critically engage the subject and address one or more of the core issues we have discussed in class.  Use of secondary sources is highly encouraged.

I didn’t write that part.  Those are the instructions for the paper (Mr. Matthews’ Instructions 1).  So Mr. Matthews wants me to criticize a work of literature.  I am doing that now.  Right now.  There is no tomorrow (Apollo Creed 1).  (Also Van Halen For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge 1).

Second of all this paper is about the X-Men movies.  That is the topic I pick for literary criticism.  Am I going to criticize the X-Men for Mr. Matthews’ class?  Nuh uh!  I don’t care what your instructions say Matthews, I like these movies so I won’t trash talk them.  I will trash talk you though.  You are stupid.  You don’t even know something.  And you lost bet with the janitor about the NCAA Tournament.

Literary criticism definition.

What order do you watch these movies in?  That’s my question.  I watch them in the order they came out.  Is that what order you watch them in?  I asked a librarian and she said watch them in that order (Librarian 1).  But they aren’t made in the order of the years and there is time travel so who knows?  I don’t know.  I don’t know and that’s just sad.

Now let me tell you about the movies.

X-Men the movie is about Rogue.  She isn’t a man but she’s a X-Man, ok?  It’s also about Wolverine.  They joined the X-Men at the same time.  The X-Men are Professor X, Cyclops, Jean Grey, Storm, and probably some others I can’t remember.  Basically Wolverine and Rogue have to decide if they want to join the X-Men and stop Magneto.  The actor who played Wolverine is Hugh Jackman and the actress who played Rogue is Anna Pac-Man.

In X-Men 2 Magneto and Mystique are good guys.  Well they’re still bad, but not as bad as before.  Also the Ice Man is in this one and Jean Grey dies.

In the 3rd X-Men movie Jean Grey is the bad guy.  Wait, didn’t she die?  Well if she didn’t, then she did in this movie because Wolverine kills her at the end.  Other people died too.  I mean other mutants.  The X-Men is about mutants.

The next movie was the first Wolverine movie.  It takes place in 1980 and Wolverine isn’t in the X-Men yet.  It has some people from the other X-Men movies but the actors are DIFFERENT.  They aren’t the SAME actors.

Then they made X-Men First Class.  It takes place in 1963 and all the actors are DIFFERENT.  Except Wolverine, he’s the SAME guy.  Jennifer Lawrence is in this one.  She has naked pictures on the internet but wouldn’t you rather see naked pictures of Kate Upton?

Then they made the second Wolverine movie.  Jean Grey is in this one too.  Is she dead yet?  Yes, she is.

The one after that is Days of Future Past.  It takes place in the future AND the past.  But not as much the past as X-Men First Class.  It was later than that movie you idiot.  Wolverine goes back in time and changes the past.  At the end of the movie Jean Grey is in it.  Is she dead?  No, she is not.

The most recent X-Men movie is X-Men Apocalypse.  It takes place in 1983 which is 10 years after Days of Future Past and 20 years after X-Men First Class.  But the actors don’t look any older than they did in the last movie.  Also, Jean Grey is in it but she’s not dead AND she is a lot uglier.  Why didn’t they get a hot woman to play her like they did before?  That’s just pathetic.

To sum up, that is my paper. Copyright Travish 2016 ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.  The end.


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