Tag Archives: Stolen Cable

Travish’s Guide to Stealing Cable

homerstealscable

Hello followers my name is Travish.  And today I am going to talk to you about how to steal cable.  How do you steal cable?  That’s my question.

One time I asked a librarian how to steal cable.  She said “I certainly can’t help with that. I don’t believe there are any books on that in the library.”  WELL I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU BELIEVE!!!  I just want to watch 48 Hrs and Another 48 Hrs on VH1 you idiot.  Also someone on Twitter said there showing a Friday the 13th marathon on IFC.

Then I told her the library should buy a book about how to steal cable, maybe “Stealing Cable For Dummies.”  She said she looked and there is not ANY books about stealing cable.  I said when I figure it out I will write a book about it and the library can buy it.  She said “There you go!”

Well library, this isn’t a book, but I WILL sell it to you.  My price is $200,000.  That is non-negotionable.

I asked another librarian about if it is dangerous to steal cable.  She said “The ropes themselves are made of actual rope, with a strengthening wire on the inside.  Coating each rope is a layer of foam, with a colored tape to hold it all together.  Make no mistake about it, these ropes are pulled extremely tight, thanks to the turnbuckles.  The ropes are also a little painful to run into, and if you don’t know what you are doing they are even worse.”

So if you steal cable, you better be careful if you run into it.

If I steal a cable, how do I know if I’m getting Time Warner Cable, AT-AT Uverse, Comcast, or some other kind of cable?  I want the one with the most channels.  That’s all I’m asking for.

In conclusion, that’s how you steal cable.  it’s all out there. All you got to do is figure out a way to go steal it.  Thank you for watching.  Until next time, my name is Travish.  What will my name be next time?

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