Tag Archives: Typed Papers

The Donkey Kong Family Mystery

Who are these other Donkey Kongs? I will not answer that question in this paper.
Who are these other Donkey Kongs? I will not answer that question in this paper.

This is my paper on a historical mystery.  What is my mystery?  I am about to tell you.  When am I going to tell you?  Soon.  Are you ready?  Break it down!  D-GENERATION X!!

I am going to talk about the mystery now, ok?  Here it is.  I am about to type it.  I am typing it now.  The historical mystery I am writing about is the mystery of Donkey Kong’s family.  What is the mystery you ask?  The mystery is how are the Donkey Kongs related?  Is it the Donkey Kongs or is Kong just their last name?  That’s a mystery to but it’s not the one I’m talking about.

I know what your thinking.  Isn’t there just one Donkey Kong?  No you idiot!  There are AT LEAST three members of the family and probably more than that.  Think about it.  What did you think?  You thought that there was Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr., Donkey Kong 3, Donkey Kong Country, and other games that no one cares about.  But the Donkey Kongs in those games aren’t always the SAME Donkey Kongs.

In Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong is not really a donkey, that’s just his name.  And you get to fight him in this video game.  He steals Pauline.  You play as Jumpman and you try to save her.  No matter how hard you try you never save her.

In King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters they play Donkey Kong.  Billy Mitchell sells hot sauce and wears a American flag tie and set the world record in Donkey Kong in 1982.  In the movie Steve Weeb breaks the record but they disallow it because there is a white gummy substance on the right half of the right side of the board and he got the board from Mr. Awesome.  Twin Galaxies won’t recognize Mr. Awesome’s missile command score.  Then Steve Weeb got a Donkey Kong kill screen.  Billy Mitchell got mad when Steve Weeb and Foot Division guy go to eat at his restaurant.  Foot Division guy abbreviates.  Do you abbreviate?  Do you say Paperboy or Paper?  Steve Weeb broke the record at the end of the movie.

P.S. King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters is a primary source for my paper and Mr. Matthews said we needed primary sources.

P.P.S. I have the second highest score in Ms. Pac-Man in the world.

Second of all, that is Donkey Kong.  In Donkey Kong Jr. you play as Donkey Kong Jr.  He is the son of Donkey Kong and that is a fact because it says so in Saturday Supercade.  Is Saturday Supercade a primary source or a secondary source?

In Donkey Kong 3 you play as Stanley the Bugman and you have to spray bug spray on Donkey Kong.  Is this the SAME Donkey Kong from Donkey Kong.  I say absolutely yes.  Stanley the Bugman was in a episode of Donkey Kong on Saturday Supercade.

In Donkey Kong Country you play AS Donkey Kong.  You also can play as Diddy Kong if you really want to.  At the beginning an old gorilla is on top of some beams.  That is the original Donkey Kong!  Then a DIFFERENT Donkey Kong comes and knocks him off the beams.  That is the Donkey Kong you play as in the game.  This new Donkey Kong is the grandson of the original Donkey Kong.  He is the son of Donkey Kong Jr.  Is he Donkey Kong the 3rd?  But how is Diddy Kong related to the Donkey Kongs?  Who cares about Diddy Kong you dumb jerk!

I know this information about the Donkey Kong family tree is right because I asked a libarian and she found a picture on Google.  There were other Donkey Kong family members but those are from other games and are stupid, ok?

In conclusion, the Donkey Kong family is like this: Donkey Kong à Donkey Kong Jr. à Donkey Kong from Donkey Kong Country.  Case closed.  Thank you my name is Travish.


The History of the Midnight Express

Loverboy Dennis, Jim Cornette, and Beautiful Bobby at a library
Loverboy Dennis, Jim Cornette, and Beautiful Bobby – The Midnight Express.  Pictured here at the library

Listen to this song while reading:

Hello this is Travish.  This is my paper on the history of the Midnight Express.  Who are the Midnight Express?  I haven’t gotten to that point yet.  When I get to that point, you will know.

Ok the Midnight Express were a tag team from the 80’s.  Some say they were the greatest tag team of all time.  I say it’s either them or the Rock ‘n Roll Express.  Tony Schiavone said the Andersons.  WWE would probably say something stupid like Sahwn Michaels and HHH.  Vince McMahon, if you are reading this, you are a COMPLETE IDIOT.  Also, tell Stephanie I hate her and she is stupid.

I did research for this paper.  I asked a librarian about the Midnight Express.  The librarian gave me a ECNYCLOPEDIA link.  Not Wikipedia.  Encyclopedia. Continue reading The History of the Midnight Express

X-Men Movies – A Literary Criticism

Here is a naked picture of Jennifer Lawrence
Here is a naked picture of Jennifer Lawrence

This is Travish’s literary criticism paper for Mr. Matthews’ class.  I am Travish so don’t even think I copied it from someone else named Travish.  If I did that, I would sight Different Travish as a source.

Your literary criticism paper is to be no less than four (4) and no more than six (6) pages typed in Times New Roman 12 point font.  In this paper you are to carefully examine and evaluate a work of literature, making an analytical argument about your chosen topic.  Make sure that you critically engage the subject and address one or more of the core issues we have discussed in class.  Use of secondary sources is highly encouraged.

I didn’t write that part.  Those are the instructions for the paper (Mr. Matthews’ Instructions 1).  So Mr. Matthews wants me to criticize a work of literature.  I am doing that now.  Right now.  There is no tomorrow (Apollo Creed 1).  (Also Van Halen For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge 1).

Second of all this paper is about the X-Men movies.  That is the topic I pick for literary criticism.  Am I going to criticize the X-Men for Mr. Matthews’ class?  Nuh uh!  I don’t care what your instructions say Matthews, I like these movies so I won’t trash talk them.  I will trash talk you though.  You are stupid.  You don’t even know something.  And you lost bet with the janitor about the NCAA Tournament.

Literary criticism definition. Continue reading X-Men Movies – A Literary Criticism

The Autobiography of Travish

This is my autobiography assignment for Mr. Matthews’ class.  If you have any questions about me after you read this, then READ IT AGAIN YOU IDIOT.

Listen hear you idiots, my name is Travish and I am going to tell you something you did not know.  How did I know you did not know it? Probably because you are just dumb.  Dumb like a jerk.

This story is my autobiography and it is for an assignment.  Mr. Matthews said he is grading it for effort, not for content.  Mr. Matthews, that’s so stupid I don’t know where to begin.  I guess I’l just go from the beginning to point number two (2).  Second of all why would you not grade the content?  The best part about this is if you don’t grade for content then you can’t deduct points for all the times I will call you a numpty.  Where did I learn the word numpty?  I will tell you in this autobiography.  This paper will be full of stuff you don’t know.  You don’t know anything so maybe you shouldn’t even be a teacher?  Maybe you shouldn’t even be a teacher’s assistant?  Maybe you shouldn’t even be an assistant coach for the basketball team?  Maybe you should just stop what your doing because i’m about to ruin.

Thank about that. Continue reading The Autobiography of Travish

My Personal Reflection on National Doughnut Day


This is my personal reflection paper for Mr. Matthews’ class.  Did I go to his class today? NUH UH!  I went to get a free doughnut.  And to the game room.  But I did this paper so Mr. Matthews can grade it and not give me a F in his class.

Today is a historic day.  What is today?  Today is a day that will live in infamy.  Today is National Doughnut Day.

What is National Doughnut Day?  It’s the one day of the year when you can get a free doughnut!  Not just any old doughnut, but one from KRISPY KREME.  You could probably get a free one from Dunking Donuts or Sheetz or somewhere else, but I wouldn’t do that.  Would you do that?  I wouldn’t do that unless there isn’t a Krispy Kreme within a 100 miles.  Then you could do that.

One time a libarian got mad at me because I asked which came first, National Doughnut Day or National D-Day.  Well I thought he got mad but then I looked it up and he didn’t seem mad like I remembered.  He did think I should think about National D-Day more and National Doughnut Day less.  Idiot.

Also he said National Doughnut Day came before National D-Day.  I learned that today but I forgot I already knew it.  If you learn something and then realize that you already knew it but you had forgotten it does that mean that you have learned something new?  In this situation I learned something, and I learned that I had already learned it, so I learned two things.  That should be extra credit, Matthews.

In conclusion, second of all it is National Doughnut Day and I’m wasting my time writing this when I should be getting free doughnuts.  That’s right, doughnuts, not just one doughnut.  I am going to go back in a disguise.  I have a Batman mask and those Krispy Kreme people will probably think Adam West is there BUT NO!  It will be Travish.

Did TV Really Use to Look Like That?

They could watch TV on the microwave in the 80s?
They could watch TV on the microwave in the 80s?

The world has changed a lot since the Cold War.  That is indisputable fact (Fact).  But in some ways it has not changed.  In what ways has it changed?  It what ways has it not changed?  That’s not the point of this paper.  This paper is supposed to be about technology advances since the Cold War.  It is specifically about the way TV looks and how it has changed since the Cold War.  That’s my point exactly (Travish).

Have you ever been watching TV and they do a flashback?  Example: I was watching the NCAA Tournament and they showed a flashback to 1982 when NC State won a NCAA Tournament (TV).  But it didn’t LOOK good.  Not the way they played, it was the image quality that wasn’t good.  I wondered if TV really looked like that back then?  Does anyone know if TV really used to look like that?  THAT is what this paper is about.

Second of all, I must define the Cold War.  There wasn’t snow everywhere like that place in Star Wars, it was called Cold War for a DIFFERENT reason.  “The Cold War rivalry between the United States and the Soviet Union that lasted for much of the second half of the 20th century resulted in mutual suspicions, heightened tensions and a series of international incidents that brought the world’s superpowers to the brink of disaster,” (History.com).  These incidents included U2 trying to have a concert in Russia, Ivan and Nikita Koloff beating the Rock & Roll Express for the tag team belts, and the death of Apollo Creed.  The Cold War was ended when Rocky avenged Apollo’s death and defeated Ivan Drago IN RUSSIA (Rocky IV).

Many scholars believe that this incident is what led to improvements in TV (many scholars).  TVs used to be big, deep boxes.  Now TVs are flat screens with High Definition.  Sometimes the screen isn’t flat, it is curved.  Also, TVs are rectangles now, but they used to be squares.  A square is a rectangle, but a rectangle isn’t always a square.  TVs now are always rectangles but they are never squares.

Whenever you see a flashback on TV it doesn’t look very good.  Except in LOST, then the flashbacks look like normal TV.  So it doesn’t always look bad, but it usually does, OK?  Another time flashbacks don’t look like TV does today is on WWE Network.  In the flashback to the first blood match between Dusty Rhodes and Tully Blanchard it looked bad.  But that match was better than any match on WrestleMania 32, so does that mean that worse TV quality equals better matches?  Does it mean that since LOST’s flashbacks looked normal it wasn’t a good show.  Or is it just that the flashbacks on the rest of TV don’t look good because they got old and dusty?

After all of these questions, I have found the answer.  When my dad wanted to play Donkey Kong Country, it looked really bad on the flat screen TV.  So he bought one of those old, big, square TVs from the janitor at the library.  My dad is a dumb jerk.  On the old TV, Donkey Kong Country looks great!  A librarian said there are ways to improve this experience on a modern TV by using a converter (gamesradr.com, nintendolife.com).  So I say they should have used a converter when they showed the NC State flashback.  Those IDIOTS!!

Well fans, there you have it.  It all depends on what TV you are watching TV on.  If you use a TV from the 80s, those flashbacks will look good.  If you are watching on a flat screen, it won’t look good.  And if you are watching on a curved screen, then it will just look pitiful.  Also, you could use a converter just like if you were playing Super Intendo on a flat screen.  That’s all the time we have left, until next time my name is Travish.  It will still be Travish until then too.  Thank you.

Rocky IV
Many scholars

Karate – A Personal Reflection

Hello my name is Travish.  Second of all I am writing my personal reflection s.a. on my karate lessons and my karate master.  This is a personal reflection paper.  Mr. Matthews said this paper doesn’t have to have sources but I’m putting some in anyway because I might get extra credit?  He is OBSESSED with sources.

Personal means “of, affecting, or belonging to a particular person rather than to anyone else.”  Reflection means “the throwing back by a body or surface of light, heat, or sound without absorbing it.” I found those definitions on Bing.  That is my source (Bing 1).  So this paper will be about how a particular person named Travish throws back light, heat, and sound without absorbing it.  My karate master always says that the key to winning a fight is to not absorb light, heat, or sound.

Karate can only be taught by a karate master.  My karate master says he is the only source of truth and that all others are imitators.  I called Mr. Matthews an imitator once.  My source on that is Mr. Matthews’ class (Mr. Matthews’ class 1).  My karate master is wise and all-powerful.  He knows all the famous karate sayings and is the most deadly man in the world with his hands and feet.    He is so good at karate that he doesn’t even wear a full uniform!  When he teaches us he wears the karate shirt, his black belt, jeans, and street shoes.  He also has cool hair.  It looks like Shawn Michaels, but when he looked cool, not when he looked stupid.

My karate master can do a super kick better than Shawn Michaels, and he doesn't even have to stomp his foot on the mat first!
My karate master can do a super kick better than Shawn Michaels, and he doesn’t even have to stomp his foot on the mat first!

One of the most important parts of karate is the dojo.  What is a dojo?  If you don’t know what a dojo is then you are a complete idiot!  Just be patient and I will explain it to you idiot.  A dojo is where you practice and learn karate.  My karate master says that the dojo is sacred.  My karate dojo is in an empty theater in the movie theater.  Well, it isn’t empty, there are chairs in it, but we have classes when a movie isn’t on so no one will disturb the sanctity of the dojo.  My karate master owns the movie theater, and you get a free pizza on your birthday.  Ok, so it has to be a small cheese pizza but I still like it.  That is why I signed up for karate, and let me tell you, it has paid off.

Also I wanted to learn karate so I could be like Sweet Stan Lane.  Jim Ross said he has a black belt.  Mr. Matthews says that Jim Ross makes stuff up but I asked a librarian and he thought it was true.  Mr. Matthews, you can suck it.

The most basic karate move is the front kick.  If you can’t do a front kick, then you should just quit!  Can Travish do a front kick?  Absolutely yes.  I am Travish.  Other good moves to know are throws, chops, jumping kicks, crane kicks, super kicks, and karate punches.  Karate punches are NOT the same as regular punches.  If you got into a karate fight and tried to throw a regular punch, you would be laughed out of the dojo.  Also, you would be hurt because any true student of karate would absorb your weak regular punch and redirect it back onto you with a karate punch.  You would be hurt and laughed at.  That’s what you get for throwing a normal punch, stupid.

Right now in karate I am a yellow belt.  I would be higher up, but my dad is a dumb jerk.  He wouldn’t take me to the karate trials for my test because he was trying to set a high score on Donkey Kong Jr. for Atari 7800.  My source on that is HighScore.com (HighScore.com 1).

In conclusion, that is my karate lessons and master.  If you too want to learn karate, then you should go to the movie theater and sign up for classes.  Tell them Travish sent you.  If you tell them that, then I will get a popcorn discount with my next medium Coke purchase.  Also, make sure you wear a dragon shirt when you sign up.  That’s what I did and the karate master was VERY impressed.  He said “Travish, I can tell by your dragon shirt that someday you will become one of the greatest karate fighters of all time.” Well, I might as well tell you that he didn’t say that, but I could tell by the way he looked at me that he thought it.  After all, he always says that if you believe hard enough in yourself and your karate master, then your dreams will come true.

The end.

A Significant Historical Event

What it’s all about

Hello, my name is Travish and this is my history writing assignment.  Basically, I was assigned by Mr. Matthews to write about a significant historical event so I am writing about a VERY historical event.  I think you know the one I’m talking about.  But, please have a guess (in case you didn’t know).  What did you guess?  If you guessed the Montreal Screwjob, then your right.  I might as well tell you if you guessed something else than you are a complete IDIOT!

Let us review the combatants (wrestlers) in this match.  PS, in the WWE, Vince McMahon says you have to call wrestlers Sports Entertainers or performers.  He doesn’t like it if you say wrestlers.  Well, I say wrestlers.  Do you say wrestlers?  I think it is stupid to say performer or Sports Entertainer, but I’m going to mention these titles so I will get a better grade.  The wrestlers in this match were The Hitman, Bret the Hitman Hart, and The Heartbreak Kid, Mr. Wreslemania, Shawn Michaels.  In case you are counting, that is only two wrestlers.  Oh!  I almost forgot!  You can also call wrestlers “Superstars” but that is a dumb name to.  Anyway, in case you are counting, that is only two (2) wrestlers.  They have a lots of nick names which I mentioned (Bret Hart is the Hitman and Shawn Michaels is the Heart Break Kid and he is also Mr. Wrestlemania).  Please don’t get confused by the names.  If you don’t understand there names then you should look at a wrestling encyclopedia for further review.

The location was in Canada.  It was at the Molson Centre in Montreal.  This is where it all went down.  There were two wrestlers in the match and also a referee named Earl Hebner.  In Britain, an Earl is a member of nobility, but this referee was not a member of nobility.  Jerry the King Lawler was the only member of nobility present at the match, but he was not in his home country of the USA, so he did not hold any true monarchical powers.

Bret Hart is one of my favorite wrestlers and I follow him on Twitter.  Shawn Michaels is an idiot that blocked me on Twitter because I said Bret Hart was better.  I will not allow my relationship with these two men to bias this factual report.  Even though Shawn Michaels is a dumb jerk.

Another thing I almost forgot to tell you is that Bret Hart was the Heavyweight Champion of The World.  This does not mean he was fat.  This means he was in the weight class.  The weight classes of the WWE are Heavyweight.  Everyone who ever wrestled for the WWE was considered a heavyweight whether they were fat or not.

In the main event, the two wrestlers started wrestling.  It was a competitive match.  Eventually Shawn Michaels put Bret Hart in the Sharp Shooter (wrestling maneuver).  Bret Hart could of easily got out of that move (it would of been so easy to break out of), and he would of too except for the referee pretended that Bret Hart gave up and said “ring the bell. Bret hart has submitted vocally to the sharp shooter and he is no longer the Heavyweight Champion of The World.”  The match ended in controversy.  Some of the fans were disappointed.  Bret Hart was disappointed to.  He did not want to lose in Canada.  Shawn Michaels seemed disappointed but he was not.  Shawn Michaels pretended to be disappointed so Bret Hart would not know what Shawn Michaels knew.  What did Shawn Michaels know?  He knew that Earl Hebner would end the match prematurely because that is exactly what Vince McMahon told him to do.  If Vince McMahon tells you to do something, you do it.  Unless you are Bret Hart.  Vince McMahon told Bret Hart to lose, but Bret Hart said, “I’m not going to lose.”  So, Vince McMahon told Earl Hebner to pretend like Bret Hart gave up, even though he did not even give up!  This mean Shawn Michaels was the new WWE Heavyweight Champion of The World.  Bret Hart was never the WWE Heavyweight Champion of The World again.

.  When something important happens there is fall out.  For example when a volcano blows up, the material that returns to the earth from the air is called the fall out.  The fallout from this match was that everybody got really mad.  They thought this was not fair.  Prior to the Montreal Screw Job, everyone knew professional wrestling was fair but now they thought different.  Now, they thought, “This isn’t fair.”

Bret Hart had a few options after he lost.  Let’s examine this in a choose your own adventure format.

You are Bret Hart.  Do you:

1. Punch Vince McMahon in the face.
2. Punch Shawn Michaels in the face.
3. Don’t punch anyone.

If you chose answer one, you are right.  Bret Hart punched Vince McMahon so hard in the face that Vince McMahon had a black eye.  He was on TV the next day and he looked like an idiot.

If you chose answer two you are wrong, but you are not an idiot.  Bret Hart should of punched Shawn Michaels,  but all he did was yell at him.

If you chose answer three then you are a complete idiot.  Anytime someone steals your Heavyweight Champion of The World Belt, you have to punch someone.

In conclusion, this evet changed the whole world and if you didn’t know your ass better call somebody!

US Politics and its Impact on Athletics in 1980

This is my history project for Mr. Matthews’ Honors History class.  I think it deserves AT LEAST an A.  NOTE: This is about athletics in 1980, NOT the Oakland Athletics in 1980.  That’s a whole different topic entirely!

US Politics and its Impact on Athletics in 1980



Mr. Mathews

Honors History

September 24, 2015

In 1980, U.S. President Jimmy Carter boycotted the Summer Olympic Games because it was in Moscow.  Moscow is the capital of Russia, but at that time Russia was called The Soviet Union.  Some people will abbreviate the words Soviet Union, but it was not called S.U.  It was called USSR.  In USSR, they called it CCCP.  The reason for this is they have a different alphabet in that country.  That is not why Jimmy Carter banned the Olympics.  Jimmy Carter said we won’t play in the Olympic Games because we don’t like the Russians.  The was a very controversial statement at that time.  America was at cold war with CCCP.  Cold wars do not have anything to do with snow.  Second of all, it wasn’t even cold because it was the SUMMER games.  So, when you think about a cold war, think about a war without shooting because that is basically what it was.  Instead of killing people, you fought your enemy by not sending your best athletes to their country to run the 400m.

This is an example of fighting without using bullets.
This is an example of fighting without using bullets.

“In July 1980, a public opinion poll showed that only 21 percent of Americans approved of Carter’s performance, the lowest score on record for any president.” (2013 World Book Encyclopedia Volume 3 p. 257).  That’s the worst score in history, you idiot!  Mr. Matthews said George Bush had the lowest score but this is EVEN WORSE.  The only good news about this is that Mr. Matthews was wrong.  Everyone hated Jimmy Carter because he did not send the Americans to fight the USSR in the Olympic Summer Games and so he was removed from power.  He never became the president again.

“One of the problems that became increasingly obvious to us was the almost universal discrimination against women, not only in America but throughout the world.” (Jimmy Carter, Beyond the White House p.233)  Well, you discriminated against women when you did not let them play in the Summer Olympic games so that makes you a misogynist.  I don’t hate women.  For example, I like the girl that use to work at Subway (If you are reading this, my name is Travish and you can follow me at @kingtravish), Anastasia, and the Chive girls.  However, I do NOT like Stephanie McMahon Helmsley because of numerous reasons too numerous to mention.  I will say this: I hope she gets beat up by Ronda Rousey.  I almost forgot!  I also like Ronda Rousey.  I ALSO like, Sam the astronaut.  Her name is Sam, even though that is a man’s name.  Her real name is Samantha Cristoforetti and she is a spaceperson (you can’t say ‘spaceman’ anymore because now women live in outer space, too.)

Here is some hard hitting research: I have broached the question everyone was afraid to ask (Did the president think US athletes were going to lose).  But first, here is one more follow up point before I drop the hammer: There is one other woman that I don’t like and she is that old woman at the library that always takes away my doughnuts.

Now I am going to drop the hammer.  THE RUSSIAN HAMMER!!

In an interview on July 19, 1996, Lloyd Cutler, the White House counsel for Jimmy Carter in 1980 “recalled that the Soviets had installed ‘90 million television sets’ to enable citizens to watch the Games, which Moscow had billed as ‘their contribution to peace.’ He said that Carter was persuaded that under such circumstances the boycott might foster internal questioning among Soviets.”


Lloyd Cutler is related to Michael Cutler and Jason Cutler because they all have the same name.  Jason Cutler once said in Over the Top to Lincoln Hawk, “Damn you.”  Lincoln Hawk responded, “No.  Damn you.” (Over the Top).  I feel like saying this (“Damn you”) to Jimmy Carter for ruining the Summer Games.  It is also worth noting that no one boycotted the World Armwrestling Championship in Las Vegas.

Here is the best part of this saga, “To try to build support for the boycott in Africa, Carter sent American boxer Muhammad Ali on a goodwill tour through the continent to persuade African governments to join. The trip backfired, however, when Ali himself was talked out of his support of the boycott during the course of his meetings.” (http://2001-2009.state.gov/r/pa/ho/time/qfp/104481.htm)  

HAHAHA Jimmy Carter, you are the biggest IDIOT!  Muhammad Ali had won a Gold Medal for boxing in 1960, but he threw it in the Ohio River (Muhammad Ali: The Greatest, My Own Story).  Likewise, Jimmy Carter threw away his own presidency by making so many stupid decisions like boycotting the Summer Games.  Ali was too smart to play Carter’s game, so he basically stuck his middle finger up at Jimmy Carter, Stone Cold style.  And, as for games, the best game is Donkey Kong, but I also like Zelda II: The Adventure of Link.

Oh hell yeah!
Oh hell yeah!

The vice president at this time was Walter Mondale.  He loved the idea of a boycott of the Summer Games and said it “could capture the imagination of the American people.”  (http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2014/02/10/the-failed-carter-boycott-of-the-1980-moscow-summer-olympics/)  

Well, Walter Mondale ran as Vice-President in 1980 and he lost 489-49 (public record).  He was never Vice President again.

Walter Mondale tried to become the President of the USA in 1984 and he lost 525-13 (public record).  I don’t need to source these statistics because they are a matter of public record.  It is a matter of public record that boycotting the Summer Games was the stupidest idea alive (public record).

Let’s revisit how STUPID this was: “Julian Roosevelt, an American member of the International Olympic Committee, asserted, ‘Any boycott isn’t going to change the Soviets’ mind and isn’t going to get troops out of Afghanistan. I’m as patriotic as the next guy, but the patriotic thing to do is for us to send a team over there and whip their ass.’” (http://www.breitbart.com/national-security/2014/02/10/the-failed-carter-boycott-of-the-1980-moscow-summer-olympics/)  

This reminds me of when the Rock whipped John Cena’s candy ass at Wrestlemania 28.  John Cena, if you are reading this, no one likes you (public record).

The most controversial aspect of Jimmy Carter’s actions are that he possibly did not do this as a tactic of being in a cold war.  Let’s examine the question together: did he prevent US athletes from going to the 1980 Olympic Summer Games because he was afraid they would lose?

Resolved: Yes.  He thought they would lose.

This is highly likely and backed up by A LOTS of evidence.  I will present the evidence to you but you have to make your own decision as to his motives.  (This is not a persuasive paper, but we have to examine all the possibilities.  This is a history research paper).  When considering the facts, one must use a measuring stick.  That means everything has to remain constant.  So, it isn’t fair to compare the 1980 basketball team to the 1960 hockey team.  No.  They have to be the same sport.  The sport I will use as my measuring stick is wrestling.

Ivan Kolloff debuted in 1967.  This was when the world nearly blew up from the bay of pigs.  As you can see he was the United States Champion and he dressed like Count Dracula.
Ivan Kolloff debuted in 1967. This was when the world nearly blew up from the bay of pigs. As you can see he was the United States Champion and he dressed like Count Dracula.
ikita Koloff debuted in 1984.  He was called the Russian Nightmare.  He was also the United States Champion and his shirt says CCCP.
ikita Koloff debuted in 1984. He was called the Russian Nightmare. He was also the United States Champion and his shirt says CCCP.
Nikolai Volkoff debuted in 1987.  He is also the United States Champion and his shirt says USSR.  he looks like Tingle from Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
Nikolai Volkoff debuted in 1987. He is also the United States Champion and his shirt says USSR. he looks like Tingle from Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker.
in 1985 there was Ivan Drago, but he was a boxer.  He was not the united States Champion.  He is notable though for his power which was capable of killing Apollo Creed.  Think about that.
in 1985 there was Ivan Drago, but he was a boxer. He was not the united States Champion. He is notable though for his power which was capable of killing Apollo Creed. Think about that.
Today there is Rusev and Lana.  As you can see they are the United States Champion.
Today there is Rusev and Lana. As you can see they are the United States Champion.

Well as you can see, there were many powerful Russians back then and they always killed Americans or won the Unites States Championship.  Jimmy Carter knew this.  Jimmy Carter was the President of the USA, so you know he wasn’t an idiot.  He knew if the USA went to Moscow to play in the Summer Games the results would be that the USA would lose or die.

I tried to find more compelling evidence to demonstrate Jimmy Carter was afraid the USA would lose, but my hard-hitting research did not find any, and the librarians I spoke to were idiots.


Jimmy Carter, Beyond the White House


Over the Top


Muhammad Ali: The Greatest, My Own Story

Donkey Kong

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link


Public Record


Wrestlemania 28

Rocky IV


The Robot From Rocky IV: A Research Paper

How did Rocky afford this robot? All these questions and more are answered in my paper!
How did Rocky afford this robot? All these questions and more are answered in my paper!

Here is my paper on the Rocky IV Robot.  The assignment was to write a research paper about a historical figure of the 20th Century.  I think I will get a better grade than I did on my last paper because this paper is longer and I used the hourglass approach to paper writing.

This is an assignment for Mr. Matthews history class.  The assignment is a research assignment of a historical figure of the 20th century.  For this assignment, I chose to write about the Robot from Rocky IV (Rocky 4).  First I am going to answer some questions.

Why is it called Rocky IV?

IV is the symbol the Romans used before they invented the alphabet.  I don’t know why Rocky uses this system to number his movies because he is Italian and not Roman.

Anastasia asked these questions on Twitter:

How can Rocky afford a robot?

This is a good question.  On the first thought, it would seem like he won A LOTS of money after he beat Apollo, but we never see him buy a robot.  We do see him buy a car, house, black leather jacket with a tiger on the back of it, turtle food, dog collar, and several watches in Rocky II.  That was after he LOST to Apollo Creed so after he actually beat him he probably won even more money.  Probably enough to buy a robot.

On the other hand, here is a little known secret reader: all heavyweight champions of the worlds get robots.  I learned this from Riddick Bowe.  He was a heavy weight champion of the world.  He didn’t win his belt from Apollo or Rocky, but he won the belt from someone and when he did he got a robot.  In case your wondering: yep, that means George Foreman got a robot too.  I can’t use this as a source of information for my paper but you can just believe me on this.  Still don’t believe me? Okay, i might as well tell you, Riddick Bowe USE to follow me on twitter.  He liked my comments about Apollo and he started following me.  I asked him if he got a robot after he won the belt and then he wasn’t a follower anymore.  My theory is he needed to hide the truth.  This is called a trade secret when heavyweight champions of the worlds get free robots but no one else knows about it.  And if you don’t believe me all you have to do is become the heavyweight champion of the world and you will find out for yourself.  I don’t think this translates to wrestling heavyweight champions but I’m not sure.

Why is the robot changed to a female? (both of these questions were from Anastasia on Twitter.  She got re tweeted by Stone Cold Steve Austin, so Anastasia if you see Stone Cold, ask him if he has any robots).

The answer to this question is very interesting.  Robots don’t have a gender.  Think about that.  They don’t have those kinds of body parts if you know what I mean.  So they are not boy or girl robots.  However!  they can change their voice.  Paulie said the robot talks like a girl because she loves him.  So, to answer this question: a robots voice depends on who they love.  I hope I meet a robot one day and she falls in love with me, but not because I want to marry her.  I just want to have a robot that’s all.  If I was going to get married, it would be to the girl from Subway, or maybe Kristen but I’m worried that Mr. matthews wants to marry her mom and I do NOT want him to be my step dad!

Spoiler Alert.

have you watched the trailer for the movie Creed?  It is about the son of Apollo Creed.  If you watch that trailer you will know what I saw in it that made me really sad.  It was Paulie’s grave stone.  I miss you Paulie.  Well I want to reassure everyone that I THINK robots are safe.  However, the video is sketchy in the way of details so we have to take into account the possibility that Paulie was killed by his own robot.  This is the most controversial part of my research.

Do you wonder what a world would be like if it was run by robots?  Well, let’s find out the answer together.  Robots WILL run the world if everyone becomes the Heavy Weight Champion Of The World.  But, just like Mr. Matthews says when i told him I will be President: not everyone can be president, Travish.  Some people have to work at McDonalds.  Well second of all, I’m not going to work there because I would rather work at Godfather’s pizza.  They have better food, and they have Ms. Pac-Man (Editors note: They USE to have Ms. Pac-Man, they don’t anymore.  But there is still room there for a video game, and I asked them if they will get Donkey Kong and the girl there said maybe.  But you know McDonalds will NEVER get a video game so don’t waste your time thinking about that!)

At any rate, I hope wrestling champions don’t get robots because then there would be so many robots they MIGHT take over the world, and it wouldn’t matter if i was president or not because thats a war we cannot win and I’m not going to lie.  Think about that.

I hope you like my paper.